Some have more. Some have less.
Saturday, I had more.
I was just ill all day long. And there was a reason, but no excuse. I didn't feel well. I had a headache that went all the way down into my shoulders and all I wanted to do was sleep.
So instead of telling everyone that I felt bad, taking something for my headache and going to bed, I chose to pretend like nothing was wrong. Everyone was busy and I felt like I wouldn't be helping if I went to rest. But I was wrong. Me snapping and being unkind was the opposite of helpful.
If I had just told them that I wasn't feeling well and gotten out of the way, I think that would've been more helpful. I pray I can learn this lesson of communicating for next time, so it doesn't get repeated.
Being irritable is not a good feeling and it makes everyone else in the house irritable as well. It also is NOT what love is.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
When I find myself being irritable or cranky, if I look at what my focus is, it's always me. When I'm too focused on myself and making myself happy, I'm not thinking about the others around me and how my actions and decisions will affect them. And when one of those is a three-year-old, it gets multiplied...
I think that's what this is all about.
I read an article by a mother of several children. She talked about when she was a teenager and all the time she had for bible study and prayer. She thought she was doing so well with her sanctification. She compared her sanctification process to a rock slowly being smoothed by a gentle flowing stream. But then she got married...then she had a child...then she had another. And before she knew it, God had thrown her into a rock tumbler of sanctification!
I loved that image of a rock tumbler. Your rough edges don't get worn down gently over time, they just get knocked off and it's anything but gentle. Every time baby sis gets whiny and needs attention and I have to put aside what I'm doing, I'm getting a rough edge knocked off. Every time I think I know better and my parents tell me otherwise, I'm getting a rough edge knocked off.
If I could only see these 'irritations' as the blessings they are.
If only I could see the opportunity for growth in front of me.
My agenda needs to change. Instead of thinking of ways to keep myself happy at the expense of others, if I will just seek to serve the ones around me, I can find joy in that. Much more joy than in serving myself.
O Lord, only through Your Spirit can I do this. Teach me to love sacrificially, little bits at the time. Help me to recognize the opportunities. I know there will be one first thing the morning...